“You don’t have to wait for the End. I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live. And everyone who lives believing in me does not ultimately die at all. Do you believe this?” – John 11: 25- 26 (The Message)
I miss you. It’s Christmas day today, a day that was always very important to you, actually like many other days at home. I know that buzz that would have been at home today, most likely having started already from the previous week. You would have finished all the pre Christmas shopping, ensured that an extra round of general cleaning other than the regular ones was done, the curtains currently in the hall, brought down and washed and new ones hung up, and then you’d get Aba, Kwesi and anyone within reach to help you put up the Christmas decor. You never missed that. I giggled writing this, because of your make- shift Christmas trees, your potted plants that turned into Christmas trees and received such a ‘specking’ that actual Christmas trees couldn’t hold a candle to them. Even the potted plant on your balcony got a touch of glam for Christmas too. Then of course there would have been the actual Christmas day preparation, you always made it special. Always. And as always, you ensured that others around were not left out of the joyous celebrations.
It’s been six months already and the memory is still as fresh today as on that day when Daddy called to put words to what I’d been feeling from the time I woke up. Everything is still fresh in my mind. My inability to have been next to you, or to hold your hand, sit with you or tell you how much I love you just once more, and of not getting to see you as planned. It has been six months and in these months, so much has happened. The pain hasn’t lessened like they said mummy, it’s just as it was. However, in and through all this, I have come to know, feel and trust the caring presence of our Heavenly Father. He was present with me that morning when I rode to class with that pain in my chest, He was right next to me when I picked up the call from Kwesi only to hear Daddy tell me you had left to be with God, He carried me through the days and weeks ahead, and never for a second left my side just like He never left yours.
Yesterday was Christmas eve but seemed like the actual Christmas day because it was a Sunday. There were Church services, lunches and dinners held here and although I was surrounded by people and wasn’t particularly lonely, I couldn’t help thinking about you mummy and about how different things are now. As I watch people’s posts of how great a year this was for them and how grateful they are, I am not jealous or hurt but rather thankful. I am thankful for you. For who you were and who you brought us up to be. I am thankful for the uncompromising and unflinching love you had for God and for bringing us up to know Him. I am thankful for the example in love and submission and yet strength and grace in marriage you demonstrated to us. For your tenacity and attention to detail. I am thankful for your joy, your jokes and your stories. I am thankful for your heart for the work of God, for your heart for building His church, empowering women, youth and building children up and I am thankful for the example you gave us in commitment and dedication. I am thankful for your demonstration of love to others. I am thankful for your patience with me, your forgiveness and forbearance. I am thankful mummy for the prayers you covered me in. I am beyond thankful to God that He gave me you to begin with and that when He deemed it right, called you back to Himself.
When the sadness that our Christmas this year seems quite empty because you are not here hits, I remember what Pastor Joyce said, that you are actually with the birthday boy and are constantly experiencing true joy, I remember that there is still a field of souls that needs laborers up and working and not sitting around mourning their loss or moaning about their lot. I remember you listening for Alabaster’s voice singing ‘Gloria in Exelcis’ every year and I KNOW that you are singing with Him and a host of angels this time. I remember that God is indeed faithful and as He has promised, is with us and always will be, even to the ends of the earth.
I miss you mummy. I know you are happy with God and that gives me so much joy. Merry Christmas my dear Cutie Katie❤️.